I never would have thought that I could learn something about myself and grow from using tinder, but I can honestly say it helped me climb out from the shell of my insecurities little by little all thanks to one handsome fellow who was a gentleman and not a creep. I got my tinder sometime in July of 2016 I was 65 lbs down and feeling pretty good about myself. By August I had 150+ matches and would chat here and there but when anyone would become interested in more than just basic chatting or ask for my snapchat and/or phone number I would cut the conversation and stop responding. I think I was fearful that they wouldn’t approve of me in person or from snapchat pictures that weren’t meticulously chosen and perfected with filters that made me look just a little bit better. After a while tinder became a game I played with my friends, swiping left and right and judging profiles. That went on until February 2017, I was 90 lbs down when I hit my 312th match, a cute Australian boy in the states on holiday. He hit me with a, “Hey how are you today?”, and I decided to answer. We chatted a bit and I decided to give him my number and snapchat. Now you might think, Ok whats the big deal? To your average 25 year old girl nothing, but for me it was. I had never given my number to anyone, gone on a date, or “chatted” with anyone in all of my 25 years. Why? It was because I let my weight hold me back, I was tired of showing interest in guys and never having anything reciprocated other than them asking me for notes or my homework. I know it sounds pathetic but it was true. I had myself wrapped up so tight in my own little world of insecurities that it even showed in the clothing I wore. You could not catch me in a neckline lower than a crew neck, let alone sending any kind of body shot to anyone else. However, when I started talking to this guy I found myself not wanting to hide behind a ton of makeup and snapchat filters. I was curious to see his response to a no makeup unfiltered photo of myself, and the response that I received was positive and it really had an effect on me mentally and emotionally. I became more comfortable with my body than I had ever been before and I had finally opened up to someone other than my really close friends.
Currently I’m about a week into consistently talking to and exchanging snapchats with this guy and what I am finding the most important thing about it is the changes that I see in myself and my mentality. I feel so much more confident in myself and my body, not saying that I don’t have insecurities, I just have a lot less of them now. I feel so much more empowered and full of self worth. I personally think that it is a bit unfortunate that it took some male attention to persuade myself to be a little more free and feel more worthy, but the human psyche is a fickle bitch. One thing that gave me some food for thought was that for some reason I didn’t feel that I was being pressured into something that I wasn’t completely comfortable with. There have been PLENTY of guys on tinder that were interested and wanted to talk…to an extent before reaching the netflix and chill question. I think the difference this time was that I started with the mindset of this guy is cool, I want to talk to him because why not? What do I have to lose? The answer is nothing, if I don’t ever meet him, so what? If we stop talking, so what? All that matters is that I feel liberated from the stupid insecurities that I let hold me back before. So thank you tinder guy for being a gentleman and not trying to send me dick pics right off the bat, because let’s be honest they’re not all that they’re cracked up to be, and thank you for helping me feel so much better about myself than I did before, even if you never know that you did.